Somebody, Nobody, Anybody = Everybody

Working as a group has its advantages (if you get along with your group mates that is). It’s fun, there is an illusion of shared burdens, and most importantly, if something goes wrong, everyone is in it together!

But there is a flipside.

Say there is something to be done.

Scenario 1: Everybody thinks Somebody will do it but ultimately Nobody does it. But Nobody can question Anybody because it is Everybody’s responsibility!

Scenario 2: There is something that I call a ‘guilt index’ (briefly defined as the hyper state of thinking oh-my-god-I was supposed to do it-but I did not). So the person with the highest ‘guilt index’ (the GI) ends up doing what is to be done. But of course, Everybody takes credit.

Scenario 2.a: The GI again does the job. Delivers the goods. There is a fault in the delivery. Nobody takes the blame.

Auxiliary rules:

1. The more unpleasant the task, the more ambiguous is the division of labour among Everybody. ‘Somebody’ and ‘Nobody’ are very much part of popular parlance.

2. Sub-groups form (say A and B). A and B only talk bad things about each other behind their backs, and only nice things upfront. Somebody said Something about Everybody. But Nobody is ready to accept that they said the Something.
Note: sub-groups are allowed to have a maximum of one person.

3. If there is no hierarchy – undercurrents give the group a structure.
There is parallel, group wise hierarchy. Each ‘lineage’ spends most of its time talking about the other lineages(s). Each lineage refers to its own ‘leader’ as the leader of the whole group.
If there is a pre-ordained hierarchy – the leader is someone Everybody loves (to hate).

4. There is no such thing as optimal group size. With the ‘right’ people, any group can be too large.

Sigh.