What are we so afraid of?

Are we ever completely open, completely spontaneous with anyone?

Even a close friend – there is something that stops you from being brutally honest – point blank is the last option on our lists, all the time… the reasons can be lots. The topmost reason, for me, is that I don’t want to hurt the other person. Does that mean I think the relationship is so fragile that it will crumble at any instant? Not that. Then what?

Think about it… quietly exchange places. How would you like a close friend censuring you? Personally, I don’t like it. My little brain does not register the fact that the person is taking the trouble of telling me something uncomfortable because he/she cares about me and wants the best for me; the immediate reaction is denial - “how can he/she say such a thing, it’s not true”. Then, after minutes/days/weeks (I won’t include longer time spans) of contemplation, you catch yourself doing the something pal was talking about, and you say… hey… the idiot was right.

I guess reacting this way is completely natural, but the thing is, when one is in the denial phase, a lot of words can get loose; words that you never meant to say, but anger just shrouds out reason so impeccably that the ability to think derails. Then you regret it for a long, long time. I hate it when that happens.

So, getting back to where I started (!!)… Spontaneity is a good thing I feel. In fact, it’s the best thing – especially when feelings are concerned. If you feel someone is special, tell them (what if tomorrow never comes, as Ronan Keating would say). If you are going to censure, use measured tones, and take the reaction after putting yourself in that person’s shoes!

And a thing to remember is – “the best way to know if a person is truly yours is to let them go. If they come back to you, they are; if they don’t, they never were”. This ‘truly yours’ thing, I like to interpret it as your , and not in the sense of ‘belonging’ – I don’t think anyone ‘belongs’ to anyone else!

And well… we live but once. During which time we meet thousands of nameless people, a few who you get to know, but even fewer that you cherish. I think it’s a waste if the people special to you don’t know how much they mean to you!
So, I will be spontaneous! Ha!